you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
