How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
