Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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