coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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