Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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