Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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