I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
