Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
