Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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