There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
