Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
