Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
