Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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