they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
