I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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