just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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