I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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