Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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