i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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