I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
