I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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