dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
