Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
