Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize