dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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