I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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