There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
