I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
apparently the secret to your success is patron
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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