just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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