i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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