I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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