Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
