singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
