Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
