My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I am midnight drunk by noon
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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