I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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