They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
