u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
