We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
