God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
