I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
