you would pick up someone in the library
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
