This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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