Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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