Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize