didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
