the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
