Jerry, you need to find god
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Randomize
