what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
