Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
