even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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