my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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