I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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