Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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