Non-Jews are for practice
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
