Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
love makes seman taste better
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
