I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize