Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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