It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
