Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
