"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
