mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
