Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
